Relationships are hard work

I have mentioned before that my husband started playing this game to play with me.  And for the past 5 and a half years (or so) we’ve mostly done that.  However, over the last few months, my attention has drifted away.  I’m spending more time zoning out and not interacting with people (in general) and that leads to some issues in certain relationship areas.  As I’ve hinted before, I am having some medication issues that I feel like I’m finally resolving but I still tend to zone out at the first opportunity.

Tuesday night, Husband sat me down and said “Look, I feel like we’re not doing anything together”.  And I had to stop and think about that.  It’s true.  I’ve been coming home and zoning out over TV shows and pet battles and other ‘single player’ aspects of WoW.  When honestly, all I want to do is play with my husband.

We spent a good deal of time talking and I’ve determined that I need to set some other goals.  Like actually DOING LFR with the husband, running heroics with the husband, doing dailies with the husband.  And getting out of Azeroth with the husband.  (At this second, he’s sitting, facing me, playing with Twitter on his cell phone.  I kinda hate that cell phone!)

I think that, while a break isn’t entirely called for, I need to step back and make dinner.  And eat it at a table, not at our computer desks.  And not at TV trays.  But at a table, facing each other.  Because despite my emotional distance to everything, I don’t want to lose the person I care about most in this world over my zoning out.  It’s not worth it.

And falling into complacency is the fastest way to ruin something.  I need to remember that.

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  1. I feel your pain. My wife doesn’t play wow, so our “together time” has to happen outside of Azeroth.

    I want to greatly encourage you (and your hubby) to do more things together (WoW or non-WoW). Personally, I prefer things that include wine, cheese, salami and crackers! But, anything will do.

    For now, the break up/divorce rate in the society I live in hangs around %50 across the board. I want to be your cheerleader, your greatest encouragement, in having that quality time with your significant other.


    • Yeah. We’ve been together for eons now. (We celebrated 17 years TOGETHER in October and this May will be our 14th wedding anniversary.) I just need to remember to make an effort. I can’t just sit aside and let things happen. I have to MAKE them happen. :D

      Tonight we made dinner together and figured out a new recipe that I’m gonna post on my cooking blog. Which I don’t use enough ;)

  2. Thank you for the last sentence, those are the words I’ve been looking for to describe certain efforts of mine lately.
    I started playing about 4 years ago to spend time with my husband. He has serious game ADD, and abandons me in Azeroth quite frequently. I’ve come to accept that, but as you say, face to face time is an absolute necessity! I also need to remember, when he actually IS playing WoW, doing what he wants won’t kill me, quite the opposite in fact :)

    • Yeah. this is hard for me to remember because I feel like when I want to do something with him, he’s off doing RL things or raid things or officer things and then when he’s ready for me I want to go to bed or zone out. Today he worked all day so I was alone and bored. BOOO!

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