Thursday Musings and General Thoughts Round up

There is a number of things going on in my life right now and most of them are not good.  The most solid things I have are my husband, my blog and my guild.  So, let’s get some thoughts out of my head and down onto this blog o’ mine.

First of all, this last weekend, our guild downed two new bosses in Heart of Fear.  We’d been on break for practically 3 weeks over the holidays and this last weekend was our 2nd week back from our break.  We went in and two healed us some Wind Lord and Amber Shaper.  Wind Lord, we managed to down within 2 attempts and Amber Shaper was a mere 8 tries.  However, I had a meltdown during Amber Shaper.

As a note, my medication doctor has cut back one of my foundation drugs from 3 40mg pills to 1 40mg pill a night.  It’s cut back the side effect that was completely affecting my job performance and I might be able to keep my job now.  (Yeah.  Side effects are bad mmmmmkay?)  So, since about last Thursday I’ve been short tempered, quick to tears and hanging onto my moods by my fingertips.  I can feel when I’m spinning out of control and logically I KNOW I’m spinning but emotionally I feel like ‘SCREW YOU ALL!  LET ME SHOW YOU HOW WORDS HURT!”  My Saturday night melt down ended up with me threatening to rage quit raid and having my poor put upon husband trying to talk me down to a state of some kind of rational thinking.  It did not work quite the way he wanted it too but we downed the boss and I was, if not forgiven by the raid, at least consoled and told that they all hoped I felt better in the morning.

It also didn’t help that I was not feeling well, I had a sore throat and was mildly dizzy and had that overall ‘sick’ feeling that you sometimes get right before you come down with the flu.

So, anyway.  Downed two new bosses.  Yay us!  And I’m still in guild.  Yay me!

ambershaper

wind_lord

 

Another thing that I’ve managed to do is work a bit on my undead hunter.  She’s almost half way through level 73 right now and I’m having a blast just leveling her up.  She has a little silver fox named Candy and they love to run around being crazy together.  And I also got to go level my monk a bit on Tuesday night.  Man that XP bonus is insane.  I wish I could get that for all my characters.  Seriously.  Husband and I got 10 levels in 2 hours, because we were just kinda running around being silly.  Now the monks will sit for a little bit while they build up more rest XP.

In non-WoW news, I got my new glasses yesterday and I kind of look like a hipster cat girl.  They have black frames and the corners kind of go up like cat eyes but fuck it.  I think they’re adorable.

I’m also working on my medication, trying to get THAT under control before my inner rage (much like priests’ Inner Fire) takes out my employment opportunity.  I was throwing high lighters around my office the other day and shouting at the phone.  This is why I am medicated.  I hate feeling so out of control.  It’s just not fun.

Oh yeah.  And those of you who are doing FitBit, thanks a lot for getting me addicted to it.  Husband and I are now working with that to help me lose some weight.  (He’s not as in need of it as I am.)  I’ve been doing it for a couple of days and it’s rather fun to see how things all add up.

January 17, 2013Permalink 3 Comments

3 thoughts on “Thursday Musings and General Thoughts Round up

  1. I commend you, why because your at least trying. You know theres an issue and you have taken steps to work through it via a doctors support. You might think duh doesn’t everyone and the answer is no. I personally haven’t seen a doctor besides maybe for an infection in more than 20 years. I’ve become a hermit suffering from agoraphobia and panic attacks, I left my home 4 times in 2012. I know there’s an issue, I feel myself drifting away more and more but I also feel helpless to find an answer. For one if I could make myself go see a physician it wouldn’t matter because I have no insurance and could not afford to be tested. I could go on but I didn’t comment to make you pity me, I commented because I understand. And again it’s a rough road but hopefully one day you will find all the bumps have long past and your back to yourself so hang in there and keep doing what needs to be done to help yourself get better =)

    • Yeah. Having any kind of mental illness is rough (and I’m sorry this response is so late, you got spam blocked for some reason and I didn’t see I had comments there!) and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’ve mostly stablized now but it’s always scary to know I could slip back down into the pit at any moment for pretty much no reason beyond “Hey, my meds don’t work with my body chemistry anymore”. Frustrates the hell out of everyone around me. And makes me very very sad. I couldn’t live with me. I don’t know how Husband does it. I think he’s trying for sainthood. (He was raised Catholic.)

      • Sainthood huh lol good for him. We must’ve got the best picks because I know how that works too this man of mine has put up with me nearing 29 years =)

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