Anxiety and Bipolar in Raiding – A follow up

Just about a year ago, I posted something about LFR and how it made me very nervous and anxious.  Since then, I have suffered a complete meltdown and have rebuilt myself back up to be faster, stronger and harder.  I learned from my experiences and have come out a better person and a better advocate for myself.  I also have a stronger relationship with my spouse since then.  And he’s become a better advocate for me as well.  (As he finally realized that sometimes I just can’t stand up for myself.)

I’m in the middle of a medication change right now as the meds I had been on, while working wonderfully, had some side effects that I could not tolerate.  (Most notably, massive weight gain.)  This is always a trying time and this time instead of getting angry or extremely depressed, I’m going through a horrid manic phase that is not letting me sleep.  Which is in turn, making me irritable and a tad cranky.

“But why do you title this a follow up?” Because I want to express that with the friends I have made on Twitter, with the support of my current guild and with the love of my real life friends and family, I am in a much MUCH better place then I was last year.  Last year was one of the darkest places I’ve been since I started playing WoW.  And I started playing while I was still unmedicated and swinging like a monkey on a chandelier.

I went into LFR on my priest first back during the summer before Mists came out.  And Karegina went into LFR shortly after it was avaliable in Mists.  And I performed well and I was pleased with myself.  It’s like my “I don’t care what you think” button has been pressed down and I can function with strangers again.  Mostly because I’ve been told that I am a good healer by people not in direct contact with me (IE my husband and my best friends who I was in guild with for years).

So, what I want to say is that it is amazing what a support system will do.  People who care and don’t pressure you but want you to do the best you can.  And as Zoey from How I Met Your Mother said “Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things.”  And that goes for people, sometimes people have to fall apart to make way for more personal growth.

And for that, I can now thank the people who hurt me so badly almost a year ago.  I wouldn’t be where I am now if you hadn’t forced me to go.  (Even if I still miss some people, aka my best friends and my rogue buddy.)

 

November 28, 2012Permalink 5 Comments

5 thoughts on “Anxiety and Bipolar in Raiding – A follow up

  1. As I posted recently, I can very very much appreciate being in a dark place. I’m looking forward to the day my meds are sorted out and things balance out more.

    By the way, I haven’t been to these parts in a while. Just wanted to say I absolutely love the site design (especially your header), but the font colour is a bit hard to read.

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